Give me a clue :')

I've tried! 
I've been fighting! 
Be patient! 
but, 
So difficult for me 

God, 
Give me a clue 
That you will reply my patience 
Fake smile! 
If I had to do it, I'll do it 
They do not need to know 
If they knew, they would only ask to me 
Will not make me feel better